090822

I've been pretty good at skipping meals without my parents noticing, for breakfast i usually have an apple on the bus and for lunch either nothing or some "filmjölk" which is a Swedish thing that is kind of like a yoghurt with almost no fat and no sugar and low calories. My new friends kind of noticed me not eating. One day I had normal lunch, and one girl went like "wow, first time I see you eat". Then of course I have to eat dinner, but I can usually manage to throw at least half of every meal since I finish school so late, so I have to eat alone, cause the others in my family eats earlier. But this weekend I've had to eat way too much, cause I've had every meal with my parents, so I feel fat!

Since my scale broke I've had to check width instead of weight. So, my wrists are 5.2 inches, my waist is 23 inches and I don't really want to tell you the width of my thighs, but since I promised to be totally honest here I guess I have to, so the fattest part of my thighs are 16 inches >.<

And about the smoking thing. I'm trying to quit, it's driving me crazy! I don't think I can handle it, but I'm really gonna try as hard as I can.

Today I've spent hours, just crying because I hate this goddamn country so much, I just wanna get away from here right now. I don't know how I'm gonna survive 3 more years of this crap without committing suicide! Seriously, there's nothing good to it, whatsoever! I miss Malta, I miss England, I miss all the great people there. Swedes are the most boring pathetic people I've ever met, same goes for the country! No wonder it's the country with the second highest number of suicide cases in the world, everything about this country is just depressing. If someone told me I had to stay here for the rest of my life, I would end this life as soon as possible! Whatever you do, never move to Sweden!

xoxo