100530

Shit, I've been away from here for some time.

Well I'm at 110, which sucks. I'm fat. I'm disgusting. I'm a failure.

I've been to my first meeting with the therapist at the ED department. I bullshitted my way through the whole meeting, telling them I used to purge for a while, that I'd never starved myself and that all that remained of an ED was some silly thoughts that I could totally control. Yeah right, lol. I also wore like heavy jeans, layers of shirts and keys in my pocket + drank loads of water before being weighed, so they think I'm 113.5 lbs. They believed me and they're passing me on to the angst/panic disorder department instead. That's good, because that's things that I honestly want to get rid of.

I should be revising now, I've got a physics exam tomorrow, history on Tuesday, and maths on Thursday. Plus I've got an English paragraph on Pride and Prejudice to write for Tuesday. But then it will be over. No more until August!

xxx