Thursday, 22 July 2010

100722

3. Because thin will always be in.

So last night I was forced to eat dinner at home. I decided to make the best of it and skip the sauce and my mum went crazy. She started yelling at me about my eating in front of our neighbour. She said she'd noticed me eating less again recently. Hello, what??? I have been eating more than usual, I have gained 6 fucking pounds since June, EWW!! She also said that if I'd "fall back" into my ED she wouldn't let me go to Malta (where I am going in 10 days and I'm planning to fats as much as possible). I just wanted to slap her so fucking hard across that stupid face of hers when she said all that, in front of our fucking neighbour!!! Screw her. Then later we were gonna watch a film, and then I had to eat some candy because if I wouldn't she'd go even more crazy. She was too suspicious, it wasn't worth taking the risk. I felt like a fat failure though, I still do. 116, I mean that's gross. I need to lose. Now.

So today I haven't eaten anything so far, but I guess I'll have to eat dinner later on... Fuck. Good thing is I'm hungry, not even a little.

I will be skinny again.

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