Long time, no see eh?
Well I've been very busy. School's taking up all my time, it's crazy. Pretty much all I do is study, and yet I'm failing maths and biology, which sucks, since I need both subjects for next year. Maths will only be Studies Level, so that's cool, but I will have to do Bio Higher Level. I. Will. Die. For sure. Bleehh!
I've finally started exercising. I walk 7 km, 3 times/week. And quit smoking on ordinary days, I'm only a party smoker now. As for the food bit, I only eat one 'proper' meal every day. I've only lost 1 pound since last time though, which is far from enough. I need to lose at least 12 more to begin with! My goal now is to get skinnier than Carolina, a girl in my class. She is so beautiful and skinny, I really envy her! She denies it though, she says I'm skinnier, but I'm really not. But one day I will be. I've got this year school year to reach there, then she'll be moving to Brazil for a year and I will have nothing to compare with. It's game on now, I'm gonna do this, no matter what it takes! Arrgghh!
I wanted to keep all my problems a secret from my new class, unfortunately I screwed up. They all know about my panic disorder now. I had an attack in English this Friday. I started shaking and crying, screaming at my friend to get me out of there. It sure made people whisper and stare at me the rest of the day. Luckily people seems to have forgotten about it over the weekend. But of course I screwed up again in history today. I was a bit more discrete this time. I just started shaking and asked my teacher, choking on tears, if I could please leave because I wasn't feeling well. But that was enough to attract unwanted attention again. I've been getting worrying texts all day from people wanting to know what happened and if I'm okay and blahblahblah. I'll do my best to keep my nerves under control for a while now..
xoxo
