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16. Because now that I'm fatter than ever, I hate myself more than I've ever hated myself before!

I'm so deep down in depression. i cry and cut like never before. Wrists. Hips. Thighs. Ribs. They're all slit, covered in cuts. I can't stop. I need to see my psychologist now. But I'm afraid she'll have to tell my parents if I show her my cuts. And I can't tell her I'm suicidal, because then she'll definitely have to tell them. I just wish I had someone to talk to who couldn't tell anybody. This one of the extremely rare moments when I wish I was religious, cause then I could tell a priest and they would be forced to shut up about it!

I can't do this anymore. And I can't stand being around my family. And everyone in school knows I'm a freak cause I break down there too. But my family does not notice. People I hardly know notice, but they don't. My teacher sees it right away. BUT THEY AHVE NO FUCKING CLUE! The think I'm all good now, that I'm happy. That shit was just a phase. Yeah right. I'm a fucking mess. NOTICE